Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The silly things, My Relationship With Alcohol and My Past Revealed.

We all do silly things, I made a silly mistakes on posting videos in my blogs without any subject area. I did this last night now Dave left a fair comment saying most people who look at my blog are already subscribed to me which is a good statement, Nice one Dave. But I do have one or two friends who aint on youtube and may easily go to my blogs and see my video from there. But in Daves statement I can see what he means. So No more videos on their own blogs unless they are accompanied with something that has happened to me. I think I was tired when I put them up and when you are tired you dont think anything else and so some really silly things.

Thanks Dave.

OK second thing I woke up this morning I was reading through the blogs and I was reading Charlies blog who I have met at a youtube gathering and still havent had a chat with yet well I did but only small chats to be honest.


He was talking about heading into adulthood and about not drinking and never again which I truly respect because I dont drink either, the drink I will mostly like to drink at a bar, pub or social meeting would be either Coke or J20 (Orange and Passion Fruit).


Now I never ever had my first drink until I was 18. Now thats an achievement and some people would call me a dick for waiting that long, if that is todays society. However after a bit after my 18th, I found out from my mum that she gave me a bit of drink when I was baby maybe a year or two years old, which I was really upset I dont remember if I told my mum how I felt about it but have to wait and see.

Now the one difference between Charlie and Me is that Charlie is the oldest in his family, while I am the youngest in my family. So I kept on being begged on by my brother Roger "Come on have one" when we were younger and you know not thinking. Everybody makes mistakes. There were times I listened to my brother to have a drink and sometimes I regret about drinking and sometimes I dont regret doing that. I think my brother was doing it because I think yeah he was feeling sorry for me.

I think that in the society we live in, it is very normal for binge drinking and drinking alcohol, so Roger probably wanted me to fit into that society. Its the same with my mate Arron when I first met him. I felt it was ok and tried it out. I would never go over the level of drinking too much after happened in 2003. I will be honest I was a bit silly to sell out Roger but I will admit when he does get drunk. It really scares me to the bone, I felt like I was facing Satan. Roger never hit me once but I felt so scared at the time I was going to be knocked out. Its due to the fact he was being very polite but the problem with people who are drunk they are more likely to not to listen to you. I felt bit ashamed with Roger when he was drunk and I didnt know how to handle the situation, I wish I knew how at the time. I aint the smartest guy to be honest and neither the dumbest.

For a couple of days I had a problem with looking at Roger like he sold me out, in which he only got drunk and had some fun. The reason I felt upset was because I thought of him as a role model and that where the betrayal happened. I felt I should have handle the situation better at the time. I wish I gave my brother a chance to explain but I felt like a fucking idiot but luckily though I forgive him thinking, hey the rest of the family were on holiday and needed some time to have some fun which I can understand. So I had an odd drink every now and then accept when it came to christmas and I would get a few alcopops like Smirnoff Ice mainly because at least it contains very little vodka and some Lemon which mixed really well.

Now in 2004 I was sorta put off alcohol for a bit of time when my brother got stabbed. I did a video a while back about knife crime

OK there are 2 reasons that I stopped drinking now and Im glad I have stopped.

1) I watched a wrestling documentary on a guy called Jake The Snake Roberts which he talked the alcohol and drugs that messed up him big time. All the different wrestlers that have died from them in general which has surprised me. Around that same time before I went to hospital I found out one of my favourites Eddie Guerrero passed away because he also had problems with drink and drugs.

2) I had an operation back in November 2005 which I mentioned in my re-introduction video which was a response to Charlie. My appendix had just burst after the England Vs Argentina match in Geneva which ended 3-2. I ended up going to the hospital on the 21st of November 2005, I remember that day because the first series of Doctor Who was released on DVD. So I had my appendix removed and I felt I could lose another organ if I carry on drinking. So I made the decision to stop drinking.

On New Year's Eve 2005 I decided to do a New Year's resolution of giving up alcohol. Now my whole family thought I was mad to do this seriously. Now it was during that time I found it really hard because I had a shit of load of Smirnoff Ices that I drunk back in Christmas 2005. So I decided to keep on going without drinking through the months.

I proved a lot of people wrong including my family that I could survive a year without alcohol which is really awesome. I think there was some guessing that I would give up the cause after a week. My Mum was really surprised by me on this. It was after I moved out with my family from South London that my mum reminded me that I had done a year with the drink which is really awesome. I had moved down to Brighton at the time, which it is a fantastic place the Brighton Marina.

Then on my 24th Birthday, I had met up with my brother Roger and my friend Arron which they met for the first time. They got along really well that day. I remember that my brother and my mate were trying to get me to drink. Now we met up with some really nice people down the wetherspoons at the Brighton Marina eventually I dont regret this I had a drink for the first timw which was a Smirnoff Ice (Red) and it was nice and relaxing just because it was my birthday, so at point I thought just one for the team then it would stop. It surprised my brother and my mate because they thought I wouldn't do it. But at that point I thought just one day would be cool, because they came to see me for my birthday. So I gave up drinking again after until last christmas.

Now my mum forgot about that I had given up drinking but I felt that my mum shouldn't drink all of the Smirnoff Ices that she bought and thought for one more time, have some drinks. Lucky though I finished them by new year which was really cool.

Now when it came to helping me out in life, Roger is awesome and thank him for that. The same goes with Arron

Roger wanted me to have friends because he was seeing I wasnt making any friends and thought it could help out thats my opinion on the whole thing. But I didnt really care about friends unless it was in the classroom or outside waiting for lessons to happen. So I think that what makes Roger great. Now when I was a bit more dont want to know anyone when I was younger, maybe it was because of my autism that I didnt want anyone to be around me. Its sad but true.

I think thats why he introduced me to alcohol once I turned 18 for which I can understand that my brother Roger has been trying to get me into the social friend and will always respect him. I think the same goes with Arron and they both realise that it is up to me whether if I should drink or not. I wasn't sacred to say No to alcohol before I was 18 years old.

I am not going to stop people from drinking because thats their life but in my opinion I have found out that you can have fun with life without the bottle. Thats something I told Daveyboyz when we met back in May for Zipsters Gathering. Daveyboyz understood that argument and would sometimes throw a joke at me to get me to drink lol.

So I agree with Charlie on about not drinking because I agree that in my opinion it could mess you up plus the taste for me is bad accept with Smirnoff Ice (Red) for the reason that it has a lemonade type taste.

In the situation that If I had a younger sibling like brother or sister well I won't force them to drink or not to drink because its telling a dog what to do in tricks but thats my opinion. But I would give them some advice looking at both ends of the scale, like dont do it like you want to fit into a certain group of friends who dont care about you. While I rather they made their own decision and if they get into trouble with the situation they could come to me.

Bye everyone



el director! said...

As I have an addictive personality, it is a big factor in why I do not drink (smoke or take any drugs) today. When I was younger, I had a 'wild' side, but as I grew older, I came to the realisation that drink was taking over my life, which is why I stopped two years ago, and I have not looked back since. Thanks for shring your experience Barry.

Anonymous said...

Barry, thank you for being brave enough to share all that with us so openly.

I hardly ever drink because I don't usually want to. The occasional glass of wine is nice, but I've never understood why people get totally drunk (just because their mates have.)